Making memories and milestones

         Pooh made by Grandma Carol

It is hard to believe we have been home for just over a month already! As I look back on pictures from our trip it seems like a lifetime ago. Our family is adjusting to this new 'normal'. At first I have to admit it was quite a shock coming home, not what I expected. My expectation was that we would get home and settled in and it would feel great! But the reality is that we now have a 4 1/2-year-old who is quite active and there is still lots to do in our normal every day...groceries to buy, clothes to wash, toys to play with and pickup.

               New light up shoes!

I will say I feel like Elemér has adjusted the best of all of us! He took to his room quite well and enjoys going from room to room exploring its contents. :) Due to his adventuresome personality we have had to put child door knob covers on Austin's bedroom and our bedroom doors along with the outside doors. Elemér was used to coming and going as he pleases. 

                    Balance bike 

Elemér continues to love being outdoors. We purchased him a balance bike and he enjoys spending time exploring our yard as well as other people's  yards. He also likes dumping out all the toys in the garage. I have cleaned up our front porch glide rocker and have started enjoying sitting on it again. The mornings are a great time to go out when it is not so hot and humid.

            Morning outside play time

Also during this time we have been taking Elemér to physical therapy and occupational therapy evaluations as well as hearing, vision, and speech evals. For the most part these have gone well and we have been given some exercises that we work on with Elemér to help him get to where he should be physically and to help him begin to normalize some sensory issues that have been detected. We are currently waiting for him to be evaluated by the school district's special needs department to see if he needs any extra learning help beyond just learning English.

Recently we had been informed of a preschool class that would potentially be a good fit for Elemér as it has special needs services and regular peer modeling as well. We are excited that Elemér was able to join the class and has  three great teachers! The last week and a half Tony and I have been taking him to explore the class and he even had some 'test run' full days. Starting this week Elemér will be attending school all day Tuesdays and Thursdays. He has been doing great in class, and seems to enjoy going back each time.

                   New book bag 

This is not the order in which we intended (school before meeting extended family) but God had other plans. He's already grown so much in his knowledge and understanding! Over the next two months we will continue to work on family as well as slowly add any more days of preschool. 

Some milestones with noting: 

1- Elemér is no longer wearing pull-ups at bed time. 

2- He has began saying 2 word sentences for Goodbye (ex: bye girl, bye Apa, etc..). 

3- Elemér's vocabulary has expanded. 

4- He has started swimming pretty much on his own! 

Just to name a few :) 

Austin is adjusting to life with a little brother and as a fifth grader! We could not be more proud of him over this last month. 

We are thankful for everyone's prayers and support and we welcome continued prayers as Elemér begins school "for real" and we still continue bonding as a family.

Some Night Time Advice For Toddler Parents

A word of advice to parents, that have a child that is just starting to transition from pull-ups/diapers to undies, for night time. 

Many may already have heard of doing this but just incase, Jen and I highly recommend two mattress protectors for your child's bed. Put one on, then put on a fitted sheet. Next put on the second mattress protector over the first fitted sheet and then add the second fitted sheet. Finally, put on your flat sheet and any blankets or comforters that you'd like. 

Now if your child has an accident in the middle of the night, or if they get sick and throw up in bed you can just rip off the top fitted sheet and mattress protector and then put your child right back to bed. We did this for Austin as well as now for Elemér and it has paid off big time. Much less time at night getting your child back to bed with the least amount of sleep lost as possible. 

The mattress protector that we use and recommend is this one 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00EJOYNHO/ref=ox_sc_saved_image_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=AEJ3W9CKX90MW

It's really pretty soft, not like the old all plasticky ones and doesn't make that crinkling sound when your kid rolls around in the bed. Maybe a little more pricey but we think it's been worth it.

Hopefully this helps some of you parents out there, avoid later nights than necessary when an accident happens.

Inquiring minds want to know- How are we doing?

First of all thank you all for texting, messaging, and sending lovely meals! We are feeling the love and prayers! I wish I had time to talk to and message each of you but until then, I thought this might suffice. I will even sprinkle in some photos from being home.

So we arrived home on Wednesday night and had our first full day this past Thursday. We have tried to stick to some sort of routine that Elemér will get familiar with.

   

Questions:

How is Elemér adjusting to his new home? 
He is doing great!
-I think it was good that we went from the apartment to a hotel this mixed things up so when we came here it wasn't like he left our real home, this is just a another home we are staying at.
-Realizing that there are 2 bathrooms available to him, not just the upstairs one :)
-He asks if things are 'his' a lot. I think the realization of owning things is a strong need for him. It always makes him smile when he finds out it's his.
-He has personally child proofed our house. As he touched things on Thursday Tony and I moved some things and added needed locks to other things.

Note: We have always struggled with putting things away. Austin was able to maintain self-control and for the most part we had delicates out his whole life. Elemér just needs to learn not to touch things right? Well when adopting it isn't that simple. We want him to be as successful and feel loved and nurtured as possible. So, many things we have to say no to. Why add a vase that can be put up or a knife drawer that can be locked to that no list? Basically, it's less things we have to say 'no' to.

- He is always amazed with finding new things in the house.
- He loves music and dancing and has requested music from Apa's (Daddy) record player a couple times. He even gave me the look of disgust when I put on Pandora instead of a record yesterday! LOL!!
- He is not a fan of TV or anything you have to sit and do. He did do a couple puzzles but lost attention quickly after one time through.
-He loves being outside, we knew this from before but it is still true today.
-He LOVES the pool. Wants to be there ALL the time. This is good because it wears him out. He has become quite a fish! We have to watch him very closely because he has developed a bad habit of jumping out at us when we are not ready and this concerns me when I am at the pool by myself with the two boys. Very little fear around water (as well as land!).This is a HUGE change from a month ago when he would scream in the bath tub.

  

- He did awesome on his haircut today. Austin prefers to get a salon cut now so when he got home and we were talking about it Elemér indicated that he wanted his cut too. I was planning on it but this was a great opportunity to make it happen!

   

What does Elemér think of Georgia?
-The word 'hot' is used quite a lot
-I think he likes riding in the car here.
Thankfully he hasn't discovered fire ants yet and I am keeping a diligent eye on the back yard for ant hills.

How is Austin doing?
-I have to say it has been hard being home. He is doing a really good job but this brother thing has him stressed. Even though we have let him off the hook he tries to parent and he stresses out over it. This will just take time (suggestions accepted).
-He has taken MANY 'breaks' and gone up to his room, most of the time to read or play. Elemér is quite loud and Austin is just not used to it.
-I have caught him doing sweet brotherly things this week too. Helping Elemér wash his hands, holding Elemér's hand when requested, sharing cookies, playing cars, and even Lego's together.
- Austin made some huge sacrifices this summer and and although we have told him over and over how much it means to us and how I couldn't have done it without him, we wanted to reward him for going out of his comfort zone time and time again, for some times playing second fiddle, and having to be my right hand man for 2 weeks. Tony and I took him to the Lego store to pick out any (in my budget) set he wanted. He found this much harder than he thought. In the end he chose 1 medium and 2 smaller sets. This is not even enough to tell him how proud I am of him and his growth this summer.
-Austin is looking forward to spending the night with a friend on Monday and this just might be what he needs to recharge.
-There are a couple surprise trips too but he doesn't know about those!
- Summer can be difficult for siblings so I think things will get better once school starts and they are not together all day.
-Thanking God for the pool!

    

How are Tony and I doing?
I won't lie this isn't a walk in the park. Coming home has made this very real...very real! Tony and I are functioning on one day at a time (sweet Jesus). Each day has it's own 'die to self' moments. We have been in a season of independence and calmness and now we are not. Elemér is NOT Austin at 4. We expected that, we talked about that, we planned on that. Living it...that is another story. Sometimes in the day we are crying tears of laughter, while minutes later we are needing a break from the loud running crazy kid or maybe just crying. These are the days of our lives...
Soon we will look back and say 'what did you expect?' just like we did with raising Austin. I personally am WAY more laid back than I was with Austin while this time Tony seems to be more stressed about things. Sometimes I'll say 'no, don't do ___, then I think 'what is going to happen if he does?' and I realize it really isn't life altering, just not the way I think it should be done.  While in Hungary Austin and I talked about how much I learned from raising him and how things that bothered me with him don't bother me anymore. I told him I wish I had not worried about the petty things then but that I appreciated him for teaching me. So go ahead, mix the Play-Doh, drink your water out of yesterdays cup. Drink all your juice before dinner. Its all good. Not going to stress (or try not to).

   

Currently I am sleeping on a fold up mattress in Elemér's room and hope to enjoy my own bed tomorrow night. Elemér has been sleeping through the night in his own bed and wakes up around 5:15. IF I can get him to go to the bathroom and convince him it's still night he MIGHT fall back asleep, so far its been a 50/50 shot. He is not a fan of bedtime and going back to bed is worst of all! If I can get him back to sleep he will sleep till about 7:30. Eating still continues to be good.

(the question no one is asking) So whats the deal with bonding? From the pictures it looks like everything is good.

Thing are good. Elemér will run to me and Tony. He gets nervous sometimes but most of the time he has no concept of strangers. No concept of who is in his circle of family. He likes physical contact and this can lead to sometimes him touching complete strangers. He thinks all ladies are Néni (aunts) and sometimes Anya (mom) and men are Apa (Dad). Even in the time of hi's and bye's he is confused and saddend when people have left. He wants everyone to stay. He watches people all the time and is a big fan of the ladies. He is quite a flirt! Will this change? We don't know, all we know is that we can give him time to understand that there are a lot of people out there: man, lady, girl, boy, baby.... and who are Anya, Apa, Baba (Austin), real aunts, real uncles. Slowly introducing him. but helping him be wary of others. Maybe this is his personality, to be friendly and welcoming, we will see.

    

What else: 
- Know that Elemér's story is his we prefer not to talk about his previous life. When he is ready he will share it with those who he wishes to. (Think- Have you shared your childhood sadness's with strangers or your colleagues?) This is his to share. He was in foster care, released for adoption and now is forever and ever part of our family.
- He looks like he will talk to you. Elemér looks like a 4 1/2 yr old kid. runs, jumps, screams all like a 4 1/2 year old. He doesn't speak in sentences and plays charades a lot. So when I say Elemér 'said' usually it was actually acted out. His vocabulary has grown quite a bit since we have been together but he still has a LONG way to go. We will have him tested to see if he qualifies for special services. On the other hand.. Elemér understands A LOT! We speak in sentences to him and for the most part he will do what we ask with out us having to demonstrate or act out. So if you speak to Elemér know that he understand you but he just might give you his favorite response 'nem' (no) or just smile at you.

When he does have something to say, he uses his own special language and speaks sentences. This is when the personality and sassiness can come through. It is fun to see his learning and changing day by day.

IF you are not sure what to do around him please read the Coming Home Post, but basically act normal and focus on Tony, Austin, and I with a "Hi" to Elemér.

We love you all and thank you for following our journey. This will be our last planned post. I have some parting thoughts about leaving Hungary that I hope to post before summer ends but we will see.

Facebook is the best place to follow our changes, but posts here might appear randomly after today.

Thanks again for being a part of our journey!

XOXO The Mimms party of 4

Heading home!

So again we have been home for a couple days but here's the story!

At 5:45am Tony got us up to start preparing to leave. We had a taxi coming to pick us up at 8:30 and we also wanted to have breakfast and not feel rushed.

After final packing and preparations we headed to breakfast at the hotel and then checked out. The taxi ride is non eventful (Austin was excited to ride in a real taxi cab).

We arrived to the airport a little more than 2 hrs early. Due to the events in Turkey, airport processing had become much slower. We checked our bags and headed through security then duty free, and lastly to the food court where we got drinks and Elemér was able to play in the play place Tony had seen on his previous trip home. This was good, since we would be sitting most of the day Elemér REALLY needed to get some wiggles out and wear himself out. (This proved successful on our first flight to Amsterdam.)

  

  

Once we started boarding our 2hr flight to Amsterdam, Tony helped Elemér on the plane. Elemér wanted to touch the plane and was able to at the entrance. The is very sociable and smiled at all the stewardesses.

   

Austin and Tony were seated together a row ahead of us and on the opposite side. Elemér and I were seated together. Elemér didn't want his seat-belt on but I distracted him with a wipe (he loves to clean stuff!) and that seemed to do the trick!
Elemér did not want the window shade open most of the preflight or take off. Once we were in the air he decided he wanted to look out for a little bit.
He was very surprised, but not upset, about the take off rattling and sounds and seemed to enjoy it. Soon after we were in the air he fell asleep and slept for about 45mins.

   

After we arrived in Amsterdam we got through Passport check and headed toward our terminal. On the way we decided on some lunch.

The boys had pancakes!


Our layover in Amsterdam was 3 hours so we found our gate and Elemér and I found a place he could run, run, run! (again needed to wear him out)



We were at the end of the terminal and there were no planes running out of this area so Elemér and I played Stop/Go. He would run I would say stop (several times) and I would catch up to him and then I would say go and he would go until I said stop. There were 2 sets of moving sidewalks in this section so he would run then we would walk back on the moving sidewalks. This went on for most of the 1 1/2 hour wait (I think I logged 6k steps just during this!) Our flight to Atlanta would be a total of 9 hours and we didn't know how he would do for this long. So sleeping was a good choice over crying.
   


Finally it was time! Last leg! Almost home!

 

  

Again Elemér did SOO well. I was glad we all got to sit together this time. After the abundance of food they give you on these flights Elemér finally settled down and was able to sleep. I think for 2 -3 hours (it's all a blur) Once he woke up, we didn't try to make him sleep any more since we wanted him to sleep when we got home. So he colored and played tablet for the remainder of the the time on the plane (3hrs or so).

We arrived and were waiting to get of the plain and Elemér was all smiles. It was 2am in Hungary and we were all exhausted and he was smiling and being his jolly self. It was really nice.

Once we were off the plane we went through customs and Immigration. This took a little bit since only one desk was open and several international planes arrived that evening.

(Elemér wanted me to take this picture)

We successfully picked up our luggage, headed to to door where a friend generously was picking us up. We arrived home around 10:30. 

Elemér had seen a video of our house several times that Tony had taken his 1st trip home.So this was putting what he saw in 'real time.' He got bright eyes when he realized the things that were his. He would point to himself to say 'Mine?'

Quickly as possible we all headed to bed. I am sleeping on the floor, on a foam fold out mattress in Elemér's room through the weekend to make sure he can do a bed by himself (so far so good). 

Made by Grandma (Carol Mimms)

I will give more of an Elemér update tomorrow. 

The lost post of Budapest (Tuesday)

I realized that when I got home I forgot to write about Tuesday our last day in the city and country!
Like I said this is as much so I don't forget as it is for those of you who are interested :)

Tuesday we had one thing on the agenda. Picking up Elemér's visa and paperwork at 3pm. So we decided to explore Memento Park in the outskirts of the city. Tony requested we take Uber since it worked so nicely the day before and public transportation was 3 transfers and that could make timing a little tough to get back for Elemér's nap. Uber arrived on time and took us about 15 min out of the city. Memento Park (http://www.mementopark.hu/) is quite a unique place. Displayed in the Park are 42 pieces of art from the Communist era between 1945 and 1989. I am glad that this history has been collected and displayed. If anything not to forget the lies believed and the mistakes that were made.

Here are some of the pieces in the collection ( I bought a book that explains each piece and where they were originally displayed)

  

  

  

After we finished reading about the statues and exploring we headed home deciding to take the bus since we were on track with time. So off to find a bus stop. A bus was arriving at the stop around the corner which we though was ours so we ran to catch it, only to find out (after we were on the bus) that we were going the wrong direction.... So after a couple stops we got off and recalibrated where we needed to be going and exactly what bus number we needed to be looking for. Thankfully the bus stop we got off at had a bus arriving in 15 minutes that would take us right to our hotel's area! Bonus was when Tony went to pay the bus drive said 'no charge.' Not sure if he didn't want to mess with tickets or what because the previous driver sold us tickets. The bus ride was nice and cheap!

We decided to have lunch at this 'streetfood' restraunt we had been seeing. It was good but more pricy what you would have paid for real street vendor. I think it was a tourist thing but the food was authentic and good. 

After Elemer's nap and Tony's trip to the Embassy ONE LAST TIME! We were going to go to a pinball museum but it turns out it was closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. So we took one more walk this time down to an unusual building I had seen from the river cruise. 

We then stumbled upon the city market it was pretty cool.

The Great Market Hall (Nagycsarnok) built in 1897 is the most beautiful of all Budapest market halls

(via:http://budapestmarkethall.com/)

  

   

The city’s newest sight, the Whale (Bálna, formerly called CET) opened in November 2013 after a long period of debate and legal dispute between the municipality of Budapest and the constructor.(via: http://www.budapestbylocals.com/budapest-whale.html#history)

(image from:http://www.xpatloop.com/UserFiles/balna3.jpg)

It was a unique place with a lot of cool structure and unique shops but it was pretty empty when we were there. 

  

Lastly we had dinner at an Italian restaurant that Austin picked out. Austin and Elemér had spaghetti and Tony and I had pizza. It was actually a really good pizza! 

Back to the hotel/apartment to do some final packing and then get to sleep. We were soooo ready to get home!!